like arrows in the hands of a warrior

There has been a sharpening of our focus. We had initially said we would wait until June to decide which path and it has in fact taken this long to pray and wrestle. Sorting out our hearts and our motivations and rejoining to find that we beat in unison. At first we thought primarily of Foster to adopt as the route we would use to grow our family, however it has become more clearly evident that isn’t the best for our family now. Infant adoption it is. Now to a new application and a slightly different direction we hope will end in bringing home a baby next spring. My heart jumps into my throat that it may be as if I conceived now… in 9 months I will hold our child. Warm and wrapped, placed miraculously in my arms, a missing piece for which I ache… and the rest of our family with me.

The catch is the cost. My mind says NO WAY! But my heart and the spirit says GOD CAN! I rest in the full knowledge that now more than ever I am a Momma yearning for a baby I’ve yet to meet and have such little control about the particulars. If God wills it, so shall it be.

When I hold this baby in my arms I will declare that it is God alone whom has blessed… there will be tears as I rejoice and immediately deliver this child to the throne room of the Father to whom I must return every good gift.

This child’s momma is choosing life and I along with her. I already pray that the blessings of the Father will pour forth on every step she takes. Surely a child is a blessing from the Lord and is a reward from Him. “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior…” Psalm 127:3-4

Thank you for courageously journeying with us.

ἀναμένω

anaménō (from 303 /aná, “up, completing a process,” which intensifies 3306 /ménō, “wait, remain”) – properly, earnestly wait (linger, abide); actively wait with rising intensity and clarity about what is hoped for (note the prefix, ana).  (http://biblehub.com/greek/362.htm)

 

Idleness is to me like a black hole into which I dare not be sucked into.

In the period of waiting “patience” is my trial and so what healthy waiting looks like I pray that God may teach me anew.

1. Our formal application and first payment made.
2.  Home study preparations underway.
3. First Fundraiser sale successfully complete.
4. New (to us) crib purchased and set-up.
5. Changing table moved inside.
6. Bathrooms cleaned up and removed of medications and toxic substances.
7. …

Visions of infancy multiplying around me as I see what our family has longed for start to take form. What comes next on my list of doing? No word yet from the agency regarding acceptance or rejection of our formal application. Fear threatens my resolve and thoughts of doubting if this path be blessed by God dance about. “You should hear by May 6th- ” the woman from Bethany Christian Services said on the phone last week. It is May 12th. Temptations grow as dark thoughts of doubt seek to gain attention… I have fought them since the moment I clicked “SUBMIT”. And now I have nothing else to DO but wait.

Why Lord? Why do you ask me to wait? We are SO ready?! For What purpose? Our baby needs us NOW! I seek to know why the necessary delay? Even as I attempt in a controlled why to inquire of the Lord I feel that these are totally the wrong questions…

Almost uttered aloud I received the only answer which my soul needed to hear. A message that my heart can only hear once I’ve stopped my phrenic busy doing…

“Child, be at peace, be still and know that I AM GOD.
At the right time all things will come to pass. Not before and never too late.
Wait only for ME, for I alone will satisfy the desires of your hearts.”

Even in our noble endeavor to create a healthy home for a hurting child and sacrifice of ourselves and our money to achieve it God winsomely reminds me that it too may become an idol. He reminds me to come and sit at His feet and to love the light of His presence. I need no other agenda.

 

Psalm 39:7 English Standard Version (ESV)

⁷ “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?
    My hope is in you.

Psalm 57:7-11 Living Bible (TLB)

⁷ O God, my heart is quiet and confident. No wonder I can sing your praises! ⁸ Rouse yourself, my soul! Arise, O harp and lyre! Let us greet the dawn with song! ⁹ I will thank you publicly throughout the land. I will sing your praises among the nations. ¹⁰ Your kindness and love are as vast as the heavens. Your faithfulness is higher than the skies. ¹¹ Yes, be exalted, O God, above the heavens. May your glory shine throughout the earth.

 

THIS IS ABOUT GOD!  He alone is creator, He alone bestows life upon the living and sunshine upon the flowers. Oh that we may know YOU more! And in our knowing to love. In this my soul finds a resting place of peace, in the riches of His glorious faithfulness- not only to me but to Nathanael, to my daughter and our future child yet to find our embrace. He is faithful! And will not tary longer than is necessary to do so, that He may be glorified and seen as glorious among the nations!

Kim

ADOPTING ONE CHILD WON’T CHANGE THE WORLD.
BUT FOR THAT ONE CHILD THE WORLD WILL CHANGE.

THE DAVIS’ FAMILY IS GROWING THROUGH ADOPTION!
With the help of Bethany Christian Services of Whatcom County
As well as the local office of DSHS we have hopes for this summer.
Please consider donating to our Ferndale garage sale fundraiser May 7th or Bellingham garage sale taking place later in the summer. Join us as we pray for baby Davis, for safety, for health and for protection during this period of waiting.
NEXT STEP: HOME STUDY, STATE ADOPTION CLASSES and FUND RAISING.

Spoken of grace

Today was a sun-filled day of help from unlikely places and a collection box filled to overflowing. Our first fundraiser well without incident (unless a sunburn counts). In fact it went so well we made nearly $900 in 6 hours! To each passerby came the message of adoption and with each came a response which varied as greatly as those who shopped. Many were indifferent, some intensely touched personally and paused to share their story. Yet there were those two which drive me to consider deeper still how Christ would have us bring this child to our hearts and home. Two who lingered long enough to hear my soul. The soul of a longing mother for her child whom she has never known. The soul of a chosen daughter who too was lost and hurting until chosen and embraced by her Father. The soul of a caregiver seeking to nurture each who may join even but one step along this journey together. The soul of witness to the marvelous grace of a majestic Savior who while that soul was dead, vile and selfish chose to love to the point of self-sacrifice so that the dead may be brought to life… and life abundantly.

Sweet baby of mine, I don’t know where you are tonight. Maybe in your mommy’s womb? Wrapped quietly in your sleeping spot? Afraid? Hungry? … Angry?… Hurt?… I pray to my Father in heaven that I may be written into your story for however long He sees fit that I may seek to love you as Jesus loves you. We care not where you have been or where you are now… only that we can be with you where you are going. You are chosen. You are wanted. You are prayed for.

Truly we adopt not to save but because we have been saved.